Pro basketball players are the best athletes in the world. I say so, Bill Russell says so. That inspired this exercise. April 25: The Best Athletes in the World This idea stemmed from Bill Russell's comment that the pro basketball players are the best athletes in the world as a group. Russell said, "Let us play any group of athletes in any sport other than their own and, more often than not, we will win." There's no real argument here with Russell. The pro basketball players have more size with speed and strength than any other group of muscular marvels. Size, speed and strength prevail one way or another in most games. Basketball players move up and down the court at a breakneck pace, make sensationally tricky moves to try and get free of defenders in one-on-one dribbling situations, and they battle almost like great prehistoric beasts for rebounds at the backboard summit. Basketball inventor James Naismith thought of the game as a good non-contact sport, but the attitude about that today is measured by the wisecrack: "Dancing is a non-contact sport." Russell's championing of his fellows as the athletes for all seasons inspired some redoubtable member of the the Owls club of Lynbrook to compile and send along an all-star pro football team made up of pro basketball players.
The idea was passed along among seers of the press box. The basketball players themselves were intrigued with it and joined in the game of making up a mythical pro basketball all-star football team. Mixing the Owls team with the opinions of what are usually called "informed observors" plus the athletes themselves produced this arbitrary all-star team.
Add Johnny Green as an Alley Oop specialist standing at the goal line to knock down opponents' long field goal attempts and Dr. Ernie Vandeweghe, the former Knick, as team physician. But let's not have any jokes like Walter (what a pair of hands) Bellamy as a specialist holding for extra points and field goals. The closest thing to a unanimous selction was Oscar Robertson, the playmaker supreme of the basketball floor, as the quarterback of the football team. Two dissenters were Walt Frazier of the Knicks and John Havlicek of the Celtics. Havlicek, named as an end by most of those who considered this burning matter, said, "I was drafted to play end by the Cleveland Browns. I'm sure that Oscar would be a good quarterback, but I also know that of all the players in pro basketball, I probably am the only one who already has shown he can play quarterback. I was an all-state quarterback in high school before I ever made a name for myself as a basketball player at Ohio State. When Frazier was asked what position he thought he could best fill, he answered, "Quarterback. I think I'd be good at that." "Sorry, Walt, almost everybody else named Oscar Robertson at quarterback ahead of you." "They did. . . okay, then, but maybe, if you held tryouts, I might beat him out of the position. When do we start?" "Sorry, Walt. You go to cornerback, the position almost everybody automatically assigned to you." When Willis Reed was asked where he thought he should play, he concurred with most people's view. He said, "I think I would make a pretty good defensive tackle. I think I might not be bad at quarterback myself-quarterbacks make the most money, don't they?-but I'll play defensive end if that's where the team needs me." When Bill Russell was asked about it, he put on his most serious face and, after a long pause, said, "I think the position I'm most suited for would be. . . . coach," and he laughed his demonicacal laugh. "Come on, now, you big clown, it was your comment that started this whole game. Where would you like to play?" Russell answered, "Well, if you made me go through with such a foolish idea, I think I might make a good offensive end. I have pretty good hands, you know." "It doesn't seem right that Bill Russell should ever play anything but defense. You have been arbitrarily assigned to play free safety." "All right, I'll play free safety.When do we start?" he said, and continued his demoniacal laugh, the bounder. Joke or no joke, it is the view from Left Field that if these fellows were rounded up into a team, they would do all right. Given two months of practice to get some idea of the techniques and strategies of pro football, and properly motivated by putting up a little bundle of cash as a prize for winning, this team, we dare say, would beat a nondescript pro football team likethe Boston Patriots. And what, Vince Lombardi, Alex Karras, Pete Rozelle, Joe Namath et all, do you have to say about that?
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Ball players! If you ever cut open one of their heads and looked inside, all you would find is a lot of naked girls and a jazz band. |
Now Batting, Babe Ruth; Pitching, Sandy Koufax 
